Truth & Reconciliation: A way toward personal accountability and justice
TLDR: Michelle Elizabeth Culhane has behaved in harmful, illegal ways and is being held accountable by the judicial system. Detailed account of my experience (really long, sorry, I’ve been off FB for a month by choice) is given below, for those who are interested. I have had an incredibly good experience with law enforcement (Vancouver PD) and the judicial system (criminal and civil courts of Clark County). I know not everyone gets to have that; I feel lucky for privilege and grateful to be treated well as an out Queer person thus far.
Dear Ones: Many of you have observed the deeply disturbing behavior of Michelle Elizabeth Culhane since the morning of 12/31/25, its impact on me, and her ongoing abuse in the ever-dwindling ways she can access me legally. I am grateful for your continued support of who I am, how I live my life, and the work I do in the world.
I write this missive as an act of telling my truth on a platform she has been using to elevate her disturbed worldview by abusing my character and professional reputation in order to deflect from the reality of her real-world behavior that is becoming well documented in the Clark County Washington legal system. The documents in my profile photo are just the beginning. Therefore, nothing I’m about to share is libelous. Unlike her slanderous version of events, which, true to form, continue to change with every passing moment as she seems to drown further into malicious/malignant avoidance of personal responsibility for very harmful, illegal actions. This is all public record.
What follows is detailed, expressly laid out self advocacy after a long silence on this platform. It is continued self Love, and a reminder to always stand up against bullies, despots, and abusers when you can. That said, I do want to make room to acknowledge my values that *everyone* deserves a way back from their worst behavior, including her. Though I will never be around to see it for myself–as I will never have contact with her again–I pray for it.
My reconciliation process is with mySelf; particularly why I stayed with an abusive person for as long as I did. I heal with or without Michelle’s journey into accountability through the legal system or otherwise. Despite her harrowing verbal abuse and attempts to use the legal system to continue to abuse me, after being in jail for 5 nights for stalking me, I wish her well on her reconciliation process with reality and the personal evolution that only comes from living in truth, even if it is embarrassing, shameful and harmful to others. 143.
During a very brief romantic relationship (66 days from our first date to my first call to the police regarding her volatile behavior), Michelle Culhane exhibited psychologically abusive behavior: chronic lying (about everything from the nature of her estrangement from her children, the origin of physical injuries, why she had a “blow and go” in her vehicle, to grandiose claims of experiences in the world), relational possessiveness and control (shaping my behavior to cater to her preferences, including changing my schedule often to give her the time and attention she demanded–and that grew exponentially after the first month of our relationship), explosive reactions to tiny miscommunications that were physically and emotionally volatile, and a breathtaking lack of compassion and care for the person she said she loved and wanted to marry (me). Even if she did write the proposal on the outside of a ziplock bag (many of you have seen it).
After my good faith attempts to repair and use conflict as growth opportunities with her, it became clear that Michelle 1) does not have the capacity to take personal responsibility, 2) will not engage in face to face conversations about her harmful behaviors, and 3) is an incredibly unreliable historian in shared experiences.
I broke up with her on the morning of New Year’s Eve, 2025 and she would not take no for an answer. I blocked her on my phone, but when I had to call the police (outlined in Vancouver PD police records) because of her aggressive behavior at my home, I received endless abusive text messages and voicemails from her (fun fact: did you know that if you call 9-1-1 from your phone, all blocked contacts are automatically unblocked for 2 hours?). She shamed my body, my sexuality, my family status (no kids and never married), and said I abused my dog Duke Ellington.
The following week she made a relentless campaign to first threaten me with legal intervention and in a most striking turn of tone and posture, began visiting my home to leave “gifts” and notes, invitations, that reflected an ever-diminishing connection with reality.
Police encouraged me to petition the court for an anti-stalking protection order; Clark County District Court issued an ex parte civil anti-harassment order based on clear video and physical evidence I had collected. Michelle violated the order the same day and was taken to jail that night for a criminal offense: Stalking.
During her arraignment, the morning after her first night in the Clark County Jail, she lied to the judge saying “Bevyn is confused, I said my neighbor has guns [not me]…” and stated (again, self-protective lying style) that she was “physically assaulted in this relationship.” Frankly, I think she misunderstood the word “volatile” and thought I was claiming physical abuse. To be clear: I have struck 2 people in my lifetime, both of whom hit me first. Michelle never physically assaulted me. I never had to protect myself from her in that way, so neither did I.
Michelle was picked up on a Thursday and was in jail until Wednesday because she was waiting for the terms of her release be met–a continuous GPS monitoring system through 2Watch. Even now, after everything else she has done, I am still struck at how awful it would be to be taken from your home one night and have to wait for bureaucracy that long to get out of jail. That said, given her pattern of behavior: I believe the monitoring system is THE ONLY REASON she is staying way from me and my home. When it is removed after her sentencing, my fear of her will heighten significantly.
Michelle failed to appear at the civil hearing we were both called to for the original anti-harassment order. The judge offered a 1 year automatic order of protection; I took it gladly, despite the fact that she will have criminal sanctions for the stalking crime against me.
Michelle has evaded service of the final order (I sent a paid process server to do the job in order to avoid police at her home again–my last kindness to her) four times. During this evasion period, she did take opportunity to petition for a “domestic violence protection order” against me, which was denied. This is only significant because 1) she is attempting to use the legal system to further her fiction that I was physically abusive (she also posts this poorly written prose she posts then deletes on FB) and 2) my name will be associated with Domestic Violence which has implications for the work I do as a psychologist. Sadly, the real harm here is not to my reputation or me, but rather to the work my clients have done with me therapeutically (imagine if you came across a record, even if it says ‘denied’ with your former therapist’s name on it with DV.)
What comes next is a potentially lengthy and expensive process for Michelle for something that could have been avoided entirely if she had just left me alone. I’ve advocated for strong sanctions for her plus rigorous psychological evaluation that could (but won’t if she keeps using her delusions) help her heal and move toward a life that has her kids, perhaps real friendships, perhaps love. I’m not optimistic.
What comes after that, if she continues to slander me, will be another lengthy and expensive process for us both. But. You stand up to bullies, tyrants and abusers whenever you can. And I will continue to, until I can’t.
Slander Confetti 
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