Slander Confetti

8 is Enough, but more are coming. And I’m here for you.

I kept hoping that I wouldn’t have to post anything new here until Michelle E. Culhane’s  next hearing on March 24, 2026. However, 2 more women have come forward in less than 2 weeks and connected with me about their experiences of abuse. This no-frills blog is serving multiple purposes; an unexpected one is that more of her victims are reading my story and recognizing themselves in it. 

This is a space I wish we didn’t share, but I am nonetheless honored to. The more we tell the truth, the less power she has over us. 

This entry is intended to 1) honor the huge courage these 7 other women have shown by telling me (a stranger) their experiences, 2) name the themes that all of our stories share, and 3) maybe offer other victims (because I know for a fact you are out there, reading) a chance to see that: “No. It wasn’t just you. No. You weren’t being overly sensitive. Yes. That was and IS abuse. No. You didn’t deserve it despite seeing red flags all the way from the beginning, middle and/or end.” 

Ladies: She has been doing this for a long time. To a lot of people. You are not alone.

Abuser Themes

• Early-on lovebombing, generosity, friendliness/fun
  
• Mounting possessiveness/domineering behavior
  
• Impulsive, irrational behavior in public and private
  
• Expert infiltration using friends/community: Acting as if she is very close friends with mutual acquaintances so we trust more readily (later to discover she had only known people very vapidly); she charms people and somehow ends up at all of your events. You were “just trying to get through xyz week/month to end it with her…” 
  
• Grandiosity of stories about her past or present (especially about her “careers” and her kids whom she has not been allowed to contact for over 3 years) 
  
• Chronic lying that causes confusion (gaslighting); “Things just didn’t make sense/add up.”
  
• Stalking during and after relationship: Showing up uninvited to our homes, leaving gifts, letters & notes. Parking across the street surveilling us. Asking others to surveil or intimidate us.
  
• Retaliatory slander/libel as punishment for break up/boundaries set by victims
  
• Recursive nature of harassment (it stops for a while when she finds a new obsessional object/victim, but slander/stalking resumes when she’s between victims and/or if we talk to each other or engage with law enforcement. She started filing false police reports and protective orders in 2025. So far the courts are denying them ALL.)
  
• Destruction of property (her own and others’), including vandalism (especially vehicles)
  
• Threatening suicide or harming herself to manipulate victims into meeting her
  
• Michelle is experienced as an aggressive person, a callous person, an opportunistic person, and a chronic boundary crosser. Boundaries of all kinds. You’re not the only one who experienced THAT, either. I am so profoundly sorry.
  
  Victim Themes
• Victims noticed “red flags” along the way and are incredibly hard on themselves about it
  
• Most didn’t report to police/courts because of fear of retaliation by Michelle, fear of being treated poorly as a Lesbian/Queer/Bi/Pan woman in the systems we’re “supposed to” report to
  
• All hoped that if we “just laid low” she would “just go away” (I basically begged the cops to tell me it would be smarter for me to just wait it out. I’m glad they advised me to petition for an order of protection.)
  
• Social damage is ongoing: Reduced trust in Queer/Lesbian community (most of us are dating less, Michelle gets her wish), social isolation, embarrassment of telling our stories even to our closest friends/family

ICYMI: She doesn’t go away. She moves on. Moves back to you. Then moves on. For a while, again. Yes, your survival is important. Absolutely keep doing what is best for you. But if laying low isn’t working out…and if she starts harassing/stalking you again–as she always does: Please reach out to me. And/or the police: I’ll help if you invite me to.

All Michelle E. Culhane has to do is STOP harassing, stalking, and abusing women. If you are one of her targets, you are doing nothing wrong by having the police and the courts investigate her and her behavior. Will she retaliate? Definitely. I’m proof that it doesn’t work when you are transparent, kind (tell the truth with respect) and interested in advocating for yourself.

Feel free to drop your contact info in the comments (I have to approve comments before they are posted, and I won’t post them), find me on FB, or whathaveyou. Though, my high definition night vision cameras at home make swinging by my place uninvited a bad idea. Ask Michelle. 🙂

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